Community

Community keeps coming to mind, especially with Thanksgiving around the corner.  I looked up the definition of community which is: “a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society.”  Geographically, Travis Country is a neighborhood.  Practically, Travis Country is a community.

These days instead of identifying as a community and all the commonalities that implies, a large contingent now only want to self-identify by very specific and limited means.  Individuality and standing firm in one’s beliefs are both admirable and to be encouraged.  But when we judge others that are dissimilar and refuse to share an open dialogue, ideological walls are soon built which divide a community.  Instead of focusing on our differences, why can’t we focus on what we have in common and lean into those commonalities?

The Pilgrims and Native Americans ultimately didn’t get along, but there was a period of time when the Native Americans helped the Pilgrims to survive in the new land.  In November 1621, after a successful harvest, the Pilgrims held a three-day feast of thanksgiving. They invited Chief Massasoit and about 90 Wampanoag men to join them in the celebration. This event is often considered the first Thanksgiving and is characterized by the Pilgrims and Native Americans sharing a meal together.

I was having dinner recently with a lifelong friend of mine.  Our conversations are always heartwarming and uplifting.  And we have a shared history together, growing up in a small town then coming to The University of Texas around the same time, and afterwards staying connected.  We enjoyed our time together, but at one point during that dinner, she said “I know we can’t talk about our politics”.  And indeed we didn’t, but I also know that if we did, we would still find common ground to bring us back together.  We should all be capable of hearing each other’s differences without canceling each other out. 

At some point we’ve all been guilty of initially judging someone, but then after having a conversation with them and finding out more about them, we realized that we had more in common than not. The sense of community, whether or not it is with one other person or hundreds of people, begins when you set aside the judgment or pretense of knowing who you think someone else is, and being open to hearing who they are. You still might not click or think they are someone you have to be close friends with, but the common decency of being respectful, being kind, and being open to more than one way of thinking will allow for more grace and belonging.

I receive a weekly email from James Clear, the Author of the book “Atomic Habits” and this is a recent quote from him: “If you’re stuck on a problem, try solving it at a different level.  If you ask, “What can we do to create a more unified country?” then you end up with vague answers that are difficult to implement. The problem is mostly unmanageable at that level.  But if you ask, “What can I do to create a more unified neighborhood?” you can likely think of many small things you can do to connect with your friends and neighbors. Zoom in or zoom out. Problems that seem impossible at one level are often quite accessible from a different one. 

We live in the community of Travis Country.  There are so many levels and descriptions of what community can be, but ultimately, community is a sense of belonging and finding things in common rather than differences. With the holidays upon us, getting together with family, friends and neighbors near and far, look towards what you have in common and enjoy each other.  Let the things you find in common surprise and delight you!